As the week of Thanksgiving begins, I made a conscious decision this morning to think about what I am truly thankful for. I have been suffering through some "blues" lately and an attitude of gratitude is the best and possibly only anecdote. It is my sad confession that I haven't been thinking about what I do have, but what I don't have (cup full vs. cup empty) and that level of thinking will always take you into the pit! So, my dear Lord, please forgive me for allowing my emotions to get the better of me.
Here is my Top 5 of things to be thankful for:
1 - Thank you God for your son Jesus and for not judging me based only on my actions, but on my heart.
2 - For my husband, who helped me raise my 2 children, from a previous marriage, which was no easy task. They were 11 and 12 years of age at the time of our marriage and put him through the ringer. He is a man of real courage! Because of his perseverance, we are a close family today. He never gave up on being a family. He earned their trust by showing them a great deal of love and concern for not only me, but for them.
3 - I am thankful for my children who all adults now. They are each very different in personality and bring different perspectives about life. I cherish each of them. They have taught me so much about what real love is and helped me to grow up into a mother they could be proud of, or so they say. They make life so much richer just by knowing them and watching them grow to be the adults God made them to be. I am the person I am today because of their unconditional love.
4 - My parents - I am blessed to have praying parents. My Mom told me about the love of God and about the Bible. They taught me right from wrong; showed me how to love others and reach out to those who need help; and most of all Mom and Dad showed me what commitment is. They have been married for 52 years!
5 - Friends and Relatives - Their friendships enrich my life and make me want to be a better person. I also am so thankful that when I was a child, my parents had friends that were good role models. I never saw or experienced physical abuse or parents with addictions. I had a good start in life. Thank you Mom and Daddy. I also must include my Aunt Betty. She got a hold of me when I was 16 years old and through her acts of kindness and love I am a true lover of God. That is a story for another day.
I challenge you to make a Top 5 list of your own. It will change your attitude like it did mine. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Heart to Heart Cafe
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Mistakes and Misunderstanding
Have you ever had a week in your life when you feel like you've been hit by a Mack truck? A time when poor decisions made in your (long ago)past come back to rear their ugly heads and say "gotcha"? Oh, the bucket load of guilt and the mind games of "if only" or "why God why?". They are wasted energy! If you have experienced these types of emotions, then you understand the level of exhaustion that comes with roller coaster emotions from such a thought pattern. That is where I am tonight. Ugh! Yep, I am a member of the human race all right. We make our plans and our mistakes only to reap the fruit of them. Thankfully, not all of my life has been filled with miss-steps and poor judgment, but when I was a young woman I could make some real life-altering mistakes. I am still reaping the bad fruit from some of them.
Without going into the sordid details and with that being said, there is hope! Yes indeed. Thank the Good Lord. God gives us forgiveness when we are truly sorry and tell Him so, and He gives us the power to forgive others who acted rashly and hurt us as well. The really hard part I have learned is to forgive myself! I absolutely hate to hurt anyone. I just die inside at the thought of causing another person pain, so when I find out that I have hurt someone, I cry a river full to tears and try to make amends. But what do I do when the person I hurt refuses to forgive me? What do I do now? Do I live my life feeling guilty that such a misunderstanding occurred? Is that what God wants me to do? Absolutely not! As I cried my river full of tears recently, knowing that a relationship has been lost, possibly forever, I remembered a favorite scripture I learned long ago. I believe this is what God wants us to do when faced with a past you want to forget. After you pray and receive His forgiveness and have done your best to repair the damage done, God says: Forgetting the past (what lies behind) and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain (work at with God's help) to reach the end of my race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling me up to heaven. Philippians 3:13-14 (New Living Bible, paraphrased).
Without going into the sordid details and with that being said, there is hope! Yes indeed. Thank the Good Lord. God gives us forgiveness when we are truly sorry and tell Him so, and He gives us the power to forgive others who acted rashly and hurt us as well. The really hard part I have learned is to forgive myself! I absolutely hate to hurt anyone. I just die inside at the thought of causing another person pain, so when I find out that I have hurt someone, I cry a river full to tears and try to make amends. But what do I do when the person I hurt refuses to forgive me? What do I do now? Do I live my life feeling guilty that such a misunderstanding occurred? Is that what God wants me to do? Absolutely not! As I cried my river full of tears recently, knowing that a relationship has been lost, possibly forever, I remembered a favorite scripture I learned long ago. I believe this is what God wants us to do when faced with a past you want to forget. After you pray and receive His forgiveness and have done your best to repair the damage done, God says: Forgetting the past (what lies behind) and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain (work at with God's help) to reach the end of my race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling me up to heaven. Philippians 3:13-14 (New Living Bible, paraphrased).
Friday, November 14, 2008
Survivor or an Overcomer
My youngest daughter complemented me the other day. A mother can only be so blessed. She was asked to describe me to a new friend and she chose the word overcomer. I had thought of myself as a survivor; survivor of divorce, survivor of a still-born baby girl, survivor of a house-fire, a survivor of rejection etc. etc. We all have our lists. After receiving such a complement I was taken back and found myself at a loss for words. I did say "thank you", but not much else.
When I returned home from our visit, I decided to meditate on this word and here is what I discovered. Webster's dictionary defines a survivor as one who still exists in spite of some unfortunate circumstance. The picture that comes to my mind is someone who grits their teeth and just bears something to get through it. They survive the thing, but that is all. You've heard of the saying "survived by the skin of their teeth". Well, that is what they meant. They survived the thing, but that alone was their victory. You might think, and what's wrong with that! Nothing.
Webster defines an overcomer as someone who masters, prevails over, surmounts something. This makes me think of someone like Lance Armstrong who overcame cancer to win the Tour DeFrance! Or someone who overcame poverty to become a doctor, or overcame a serious injury to become an athelete. Individuals who are known as overcomers seem to be those people who don't let negative circumstances sour their attitude toward life. When kicked in the gut or knocked to the floor by circumstances, they dust themselves off, get back up, and keep on pressing on toward their goals. My dear daughter gave me a complement that I may not deserve, because many times I survive by the skin of my teeth without much else. I am grateful to have such a daughter who looks up to me and sees only the best in her Mom. I am also grateful to her for causing me to obtain a clearer understanding of the difference between survivors and overcomers. I want to be an overcomer! If not for myself, definately for her!
When I returned home from our visit, I decided to meditate on this word and here is what I discovered. Webster's dictionary defines a survivor as one who still exists in spite of some unfortunate circumstance. The picture that comes to my mind is someone who grits their teeth and just bears something to get through it. They survive the thing, but that is all. You've heard of the saying "survived by the skin of their teeth". Well, that is what they meant. They survived the thing, but that alone was their victory. You might think, and what's wrong with that! Nothing.
Webster defines an overcomer as someone who masters, prevails over, surmounts something. This makes me think of someone like Lance Armstrong who overcame cancer to win the Tour DeFrance! Or someone who overcame poverty to become a doctor, or overcame a serious injury to become an athelete. Individuals who are known as overcomers seem to be those people who don't let negative circumstances sour their attitude toward life. When kicked in the gut or knocked to the floor by circumstances, they dust themselves off, get back up, and keep on pressing on toward their goals. My dear daughter gave me a complement that I may not deserve, because many times I survive by the skin of my teeth without much else. I am grateful to have such a daughter who looks up to me and sees only the best in her Mom. I am also grateful to her for causing me to obtain a clearer understanding of the difference between survivors and overcomers. I want to be an overcomer! If not for myself, definately for her!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Peace of Autumn
It seems to me that autumn is a very unique season. It has differing hues and smells depending upon where you live. Where I live it shows itself as crisp and cool; golden and peaceful. My favorite activity in autumn is to sit outside by a warm campfire in the woods and watch the animals as they prepare for winter, view the very blue sky and listen to the wisp of gentle winds through the trees. I can sit quietly for a long time observing the season change and being so grateful that I am alive to experience it. I love this season!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Running a Marathon
Using the example of a marathon runner has always helped me understand how a successful life is created. A marathon is filled with challenges in route to the finish line such as rocks to trip over, pot-holes to step into, steep inclines to climb over, and the "nineteenth mile" to push through. To complete a marathon you will need, not only physical stamina and strength, but also the mental determination to cross that finish line no matter how much it hurts and what tricks your mind is playing on you. There is a lot of pain and adversity for sure, but marathon runners train for it. They get a coach to show them how it's done, and then bond to other runners for encouragement and support. You and I will create a successful life similarly to these runners.
1) Have a goal
You and I cannot get anywhere unless we know where we are going. Ask yourself "What do I want to do with my life"? Really think about it. Don't just say something vague like I want to me a good mom, or a good wife, or a successful business woman. Be specific. I have used short-term goals (1-2 years to completion) and then mid-term goals (3-5 years to completion) and finally long-term goals (6-15 years).
2) Make a plan
Write down the steps you will need to take to reach your goal. Do not make the mistake of thinking "I can make a mental note. I don't need to write them down". It is so easy for us to get distracted. In fact, I post my hand-written list on a bulletin board I frequently look at.
3) Align yourself with women who are encourager's.
We become like the people we hang out with. Don't think otherwise. You can't maintain close friendships with people who are negative and complaining and expect to get encouraged or have your goals supported. It won't happen. Wy? Because unhappy people only like unhappy people and if you are happy, they will work at getting you to join them in being unhappy too! Anyway, one of these encouraging women (possibly a new friend or someone you have not been close to before) will most likely end up being your coach. Some call them mentors, but typically they are women who are givers and want to help you get to your goal. They have arrived at some goals they set for themselves so they know how it's done. Don't be afraid to ask them for help. Encourager's and giver's love to help others.
4) Begin with the end in mind.
Stay focused or you can get derailed just like a train whose engineer took his eyes of the track. I know this first hand. I have been derailed more than once by well-meaning friends, activities, and even myself! Keep your eyes on the prize ladies! Keep moving forward!
5) Be prepared for obstacles.
Do not think for a minute that you can just float through to the finish line. This Polly-Anna thinking that everything will always go your way and everyone is on your side is setting yourself up for failure. You must press through every challenge (rocks, pot-holes, steep inclines).
6) Finally, Keep a good attitude.
This is absolutely key for any life to be successful. I use positive books, pod casts, music, prayer and mediation to keep me up-beat. My family can always tell when I haven't been feeding my soul with positive thoughts and influences. What you believe in your heart will come out of your mouth, your body, and your actions. You simple cannot and will not be happy or reach your goal successfully without a positive attitude. One of my favorite authors says "Life depends on 10% of what happens to you and 90% on how you respond to it".
1) Have a goal
You and I cannot get anywhere unless we know where we are going. Ask yourself "What do I want to do with my life"? Really think about it. Don't just say something vague like I want to me a good mom, or a good wife, or a successful business woman. Be specific. I have used short-term goals (1-2 years to completion) and then mid-term goals (3-5 years to completion) and finally long-term goals (6-15 years).
2) Make a plan
Write down the steps you will need to take to reach your goal. Do not make the mistake of thinking "I can make a mental note. I don't need to write them down". It is so easy for us to get distracted. In fact, I post my hand-written list on a bulletin board I frequently look at.
3) Align yourself with women who are encourager's.
We become like the people we hang out with. Don't think otherwise. You can't maintain close friendships with people who are negative and complaining and expect to get encouraged or have your goals supported. It won't happen. Wy? Because unhappy people only like unhappy people and if you are happy, they will work at getting you to join them in being unhappy too! Anyway, one of these encouraging women (possibly a new friend or someone you have not been close to before) will most likely end up being your coach. Some call them mentors, but typically they are women who are givers and want to help you get to your goal. They have arrived at some goals they set for themselves so they know how it's done. Don't be afraid to ask them for help. Encourager's and giver's love to help others.
4) Begin with the end in mind.
Stay focused or you can get derailed just like a train whose engineer took his eyes of the track. I know this first hand. I have been derailed more than once by well-meaning friends, activities, and even myself! Keep your eyes on the prize ladies! Keep moving forward!
5) Be prepared for obstacles.
Do not think for a minute that you can just float through to the finish line. This Polly-Anna thinking that everything will always go your way and everyone is on your side is setting yourself up for failure. You must press through every challenge (rocks, pot-holes, steep inclines).
6) Finally, Keep a good attitude.
This is absolutely key for any life to be successful. I use positive books, pod casts, music, prayer and mediation to keep me up-beat. My family can always tell when I haven't been feeding my soul with positive thoughts and influences. What you believe in your heart will come out of your mouth, your body, and your actions. You simple cannot and will not be happy or reach your goal successfully without a positive attitude. One of my favorite authors says "Life depends on 10% of what happens to you and 90% on how you respond to it".
What's this all about?
This blog is my attempt to be an encouragement to all women who want to find peace, joy, and fullfillment on this big planet we call Earth. A big task I know, and since it is impossible to lead anyone to a place where you are not, I can honestly say I have found peace, joy, fullfillment and power in my own life after decades of searching. I believe it is important to let women know that it is possible to live with these attributes inside us no matter what life's circumstances are on the outside. So, please let me begin by welcoming you to a place of caring and sharing. The only thing I ask of those who will comment on my posts is that you be respectful to me as a human being. If you're views are different than my own, that's okay, and I am prepared to discuss differences with dignity and respect. My hope is that this blog will become part of your regular reading. Especially when you need a boost in morale, encourage to keep on keeping on, or simply to know that there is someone in this world who does care and has lived through a lot of tough times, made stupid decisions and smart ones, and is compassionate to the issues women face in today's world. Welcome!
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